Eve, you know….Adams’ wife

I would just like to take the time to thank Eve for all the fabulous perks that come along with being a female. While all of them are quite wonderful: wife (men) children (birth &speaking children) my favorite and what has prompted me to write this post is : Aunt Flow, Mother Nature, that time of the month! This has to be my favorite part of being a female! (sarcasm) Not in any particular order here are the things I love about it. How could it possible be a good idea for a female to be more emotional? I’m all for women are awesome but come on, be for real ladies, we are typically more emotional to begin with and then you wake up Thanksgiving morning crying your eyes out because you realize (in your irrational period brain) that no one loves you enough to make it to Thanksgiving dinner and you have clearly gone wrong in raising the little hellions because there can’t possibly be any other excuse that grown children with their own families wouldn’t / couldn’t make it to one of the umpteen gatherings you have each year!  Next up is the cramps, so contractions aren’t punishment enough to our bodies we had to throw in cramps?  At times cramps so debilitating you actually collapse into the first available seat at work with tears streaming down your face and everyone is looking at you like: come on, they are just cramps. Or even better, my beloved mini me (Soleil) doesn’t get headaches or cramps…..how the hell does that work?? I mean I know I should be happy for her but some how I just find it unfair!! Last but certainly not least the blood loss. So many things wrong on this front #1 wearing white, at work we can only wear blue or white scrub pants and in the event that Aunt Flow shows up unexpectedly, yeah me! Then there is the amount, how is it humanly possible? Sneezing, coughing, bending over, laughing, running…..all have to be temporarily put on hold. Twice recently I had to make an emergency change of clothes and chairs at work!! If all that isn’t enough torture there is the God awful smell……..I’ll just leave that one alone!

I must say though that I do believe there is a positive! It’s the one time of the month I don’t feel bad about eating anything I want!


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