Why does it have to be so difficult

There is so much baggage to carry around after a sh*t childhood. Each day that goes by seems so flipping difficult than the day before.

2 weeks ago my mother moved in with me. I embraced it the best I could, thinking this will surely lead to some  kind of mental health!! I really thought it seemed healthy. Then My mom’s money from social security disability was loaded onto her account. She made a list of reasonable items that she wanted to purchase and when I tried to show her some options online for a phone she started giving Roger (my husband) a hateful look and started yelling at us that she would not be paying for any bills! Then my “crippled mother” took off out that back door down toward the gas station. That was around 2 am & did not knock on the door until 6 am and when she did asked me: why  didn’t you tell me? Referring to the argument we had before she left.  Some how my childhood came up and I asked her why she was running off like she did when I was a child.

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Jason@Solace says:

    I hope things get better.

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    1. Thank You! I am sure it will!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m curious what her response to you was after you asked her why she ran off like she did when you were a child?

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    1. She just shook her head, she lives in denial of how things really we’re….. Unless I’m seriously overthinking it 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I doubt you are overthinking it

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I still struggle with abandonment issues. Even if my cat runs off for awhile I will have a meltdown… its insane.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Our last few cats ran off and I’ve done everything I can this time (of course I thought I did last time as well) to make sure they don’t run off because having them helps fill up my cup, their love comes without rules or expectations

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      1. I have 5 cats. The only one that stays around is my female (the mother to the others). I keep her in the house and let her out occasionally, but I think she would run off if I had not had her fixed. The others do but they are males, thats what males do, cat or not. If you are rural you can always expand some to other animals as well. I feel the same way about filling your cup.

        Liked by 1 person

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