There just has to be a point in time when I won’t have to struggle with depression! I’m not quite sure when this time will come but I’ve come to realize that all the years I ran around like crazy seem to keep me busy enough that I never had to dwell on depression. All the years I spent in counseling I kept being told that I feed off the chaos in my life…..
Yet at the same time, all the chaos kept me sane….. Once life calmed down that’s when I realized all the “unfinished business” from my childhood was/had been contributing to years of depression. The only problem with all this is that when you live a life of chaos and life calms down, you become lost. You lose focus and determination. You no longer have to put out fire after fire…
My only savior has been focusing on being a nurse and a mom. I call this the Sunshiney way or…..I say focused but it’s actually been a little obsessed. Once I figure out how to rewire my brain I’ll let everyone know!
