Pulling The Trigger

I have no idea what I’m afraid of….. Wait that’s a lie after years of counseling I do know what I’m afraid of…. Failure!! I spend an unbelievable amount of time online everyday researching various things I want to do or need to do and yet I still don’t do the final step to get whatever “it” is going. Among a few issues that I have that my husband does not , difficulty pulling the trigger is high on the list. He is so sweet and loving and tries to get me over the hump but he has no fear of failure or rejection. He does not realize that it is actually paralyzing. I like to announce that I’m going to do things that I don’t want to do in hopes that someone will help me enforce it LOL. Yesterday I said I’m going to do two things that I don’t want to do & I am going to get them done by the end of the day. So, at the top of my “pulling the trigger list”

1: link my blog to FB

This may seem very obvious to some but I’m so scared of being judged that I just won’t do it.

2: publish the new FB page I made for at home care for seniors

I am more than qualified for this and I clearly have to pay my bills so I’m not sure the exact Fear Factor here.

3: create a website for the above-mentioned business and or add a page to this website. 3 1/2: Nor have I putting to place any of the other 25 things that I’ve researched over the last three years for making money at home and or online.

Whatever my reasoning is for not getting it done is surely directly related to the reason for number 2.

In true Sunshine fashion I have done several hours of research on pulling the trigger or lack thereof. I am a very good procrastinator so I’m sure that has something to do with it. I do lack self-discipline although I do not like determination. I am terrible at forming new habits, again this is not something my husband can relate to. I drive him crazy because I don’t shut the door, I don’t shut off the light, I don’t shut cabinet doors and I don’t put my stuff in the same place every time. I’ve put a lot of thought into this one and I’m pretty sure that it’s directly related to the hierarchy of needs. Growing up the daily worries were will I have a light to shut off or a door to shut. I certainly never worried about putting things in the same place every time!

I do try to get to a resolution by the end of my post but I just don’t have one for this.

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