CRIMINAL “injustice”System

Every time I turn around there is something I am trying to dig myself out of because I don’t have money! Of course this is most true with any and every legal issue ever. If you are poor you can’t afford an attorney, if you don’t have an attorney then they treat you less than NO MATTER WHAT. It’s so blatantly obvious, if you go to court with an attorney, you don’t have to wait for your turn and no one talks down to you! Additionally if you have an attorney you don’t have to take some plea deal that financially benefits the county and gives you no chance of ever climbing out of the trouble.

I mostly speak of this in regards to my oldest son who was talked into pleading guilty to possession of a stolen vehicle when he and his cousin drove around in their bosses truck. The boss didn’t want to press charges at all but good ol’ Dewitt County Illinois had nothing better to do than pick up the case anyway.

6 years later the same county forced my son to plead guilty to: attempted aggravated robbery. What I love about this is that a couple of scrappy kids were discussing the thought around my son, one of which was under 18 and happen to be the one that tried to carry out this “plan”. Well the kid had parents who could afford a good attorney. So the kid testified that my son threatened him, forcing him to do it. Although I love all my children very much, I am also realistic. I know that my son has done things to get himself in trouble. HOWEVER, IT HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING VIOLENT! As a matter of fact, I have heard other mothers speak of having kids that get in trouble and how the kid is disrespectful toward them, even cussing them and putting their hands on them. This was also NEVER the case with my son. He has always been a “Momma’s boy”! He said a cuss word once when he was really little and I chased him through the house instilling the fear of God and the wrath of a mother! He NEVER did it again!

This is an excerpt from a case where the young lady had let someone stay at her apt and he left 25g of marijuana (equal to 25 sugar packets). The cops showed up on a tip and arrested her because it was in her apartment.

This is the age of the plea bargain. Most people adjudicated in the criminal-justice system today waive the right to a trial and the host of protections that go along with one, including the right to appeal. Instead, they plead guilty. The vast majority of felony convictions are now the result of plea bargains—some 94 percent at the state level, and some 97 percent at the federal level. Estimates for misdemeanor convictions run even higher. These are astonishing statistics, and they reveal a stark new truth about the American criminal-justice system: Very few cases go to trial. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy acknowledged this reality in 2012, writing for the majority in Missouri v. Frye, a case that helped establish the right to competent counsel for defendants who are offered a plea bargain. Quoting a law-review article, Kennedy wrote, “ ‘Horse trading [between prosecutor and defense counsel] determines who goes to jail and for how long. That is what plea bargaining is. It is not some adjunct to the criminal justice system; it is the criminal justice system.’ ”

This is the best idea I’ve come across lately!https://reformalliance.com/

Van Jones

@VanJones68



1. #FirstStepAct passed in December 2018. 2. @REFORM launched in January 2018, with @MeekMill, Jay-Z & others. #REFORM 3. ????? We all know good things come in “threes.” Stay tuned … #CriminalJusticeReform #ThirdBreakthrough #ComingSoon

I’ve known for years that not having money made for increased legal issues: traffic tickets, car insurance especially but since 2012 it has been painfully obvious!

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The Book of Sunshine: Chapter 1

Date: December of 1976-1981

Age : infant-5years

Husband: J.D.

In the 70’s there was a movie titled: Sunshine . I can’t really tell you why but this is where my mom says she got my name. As with the first few years of my life and what led up to it, I never asked my mom about the origin of my name until after 2001, after I turned 25, after my mom had a major stroke and really couldn’t tell me much.

This movie was a “made for T.V.” special and it’s soundtrack consisted of 7 songs by John Denver, one of which was “Sunshine on my Shoulders’ for which the film is named: IMDb

There’s a menagerie of memories I have up until 5 years old. They are kind of thrown together and all mushed up. My most vivid memories are from 2 different apartments in the same apartment house.

The 2nd floor apartment consisted of a living room to the right when you walked in, a small bathroom just to your left, the kitchen straight ahead and then the only bedroom was to the left of the kitchen. In the upstairs apartment we had a female German Shepard name: Lady and when I was around 3 she jumped up on the roll away bed with me during an argument and her paw got my cheek leaving a scar on my cheek right below my left eye.I also remember a picture of me or maybe it was just my favorite dress pictured in my head hanging on the door frame leading into the living room from the hallway. Either way I remember my favorite pink dress, the one I wore in the pics that actually hung at the neighborhood bar: Julies Tavern, in Decatur, Il , right down the road from where I grew up! I never have come across these pictures as an adult but I remain hopeful!

In the downstairs apartment I have several memories mostly good! My mom would always take me to the public library to rent Little Golden Books & Dr Seuss! I loved reading and being read to and the fun poetry world of Who-ville would leave an everlasting impression (positive impression) on my life! Additionally there was an incident in which I washed my hair with Nair (a bottle of cream rinse used to remove bodily hair which unfortunately included the hair on your head) and to “teach me a lesson, or whatever, my mom cut all of my hair short”. Also we grew up in a time when kids in Africa were starving so it was our duty as a member of The U.S. to eat every thing on our plate no matter what! This particular night it consisted of a bowl of chilli that I did not want to eat for whatever reason so I added A LOT of salt to make it better! Of course it actually made it worse but I had to eat it anyway because we did not WASTE food back then!!!! Lastly, the memory I tell no one about: My stepfather was an alcoholic and he believed in whippens! If you did wrong then you got a spanking with this red and white belt! Well I clearly did something wrong that warranted a whippen with THE BELT!!!! After getting the spanking, I rolled around on the bed in a “convulsive fit” and rolled off the bed and broke my left jaw on the “end table” that sat next to the bed. Who knows what the Dr was told but ultimately the dentist wired my jaw shut to allow the break to heal which meant I had to eat baby food in preschool…..it didn’t last….I pulled the wires out and the dentist gave up.
I honestly don’t remember how soon after this incident my mom and I moved out but I do believe anything longer than immediately would not have occurred if the roles were reversed!

Zachuery aka Zachariah aka Pooky Wooky

October 19, 1994 (2 weeks after my due date, 1 day after a failed attempt at inducing labor and 4-6 hours after the Dr assisted my water breaking) came my 2nd bouncing baby boy!

The next day we took him home and unlike his older brother he started sleeping 4+ hours at night within the first couple of weeks. He was such a calm baby (especially in contrast to his brother) that I called the pediatrician concerned something was wrong! After a handful of questions the pediatrician assured me that Zach was just fine and just a good sleeping baby!

I’ve mentioned this in a past post but I like to remind my kids that they are so smart and healthy because I breast fed all of them and Zachuery for the longest. I’m sure there is a direct correlation to his good health and generally good decision making!

As the boys were growing up we always told them Zach would be president and his older brother Sean would be his bodyguard. That’s not quite how things have turned out but it gives you a feel for their personalities.

Zach did great in school and starting in 5th grade (due to his distain for daycare) he started watching his little sisters before and after school. He was always so responsible and fairly meticulous. We realized at one point that he had been folding his dirty clothes and when we would eat out everyone would be done eating but Zach would just be done cutting his food into perfectly even pieces!!

A review of over 200 birth order studies found that middles are characterized as sociable, more faithful in monogamous relationships, and have the fewest “acting out” problems…..

However, if events would have been different then I would not have spent this summer with the newest born love of my life…..Zachs’ daughter : Rima

Unfortunately in September Rimas’ mother came and took her to Texas and will not allow us to see her or talk to her. Zach and her mother were never married so at this point he has no legal rights. However, I have quickly become a legal self help guru as a result and I have begun filing the necessary paperwork to get into court and establish paternity and custody/visitation. We do not have lots of money for an attorney but we are going Monday for a free consultation! In the meanwhile we are keeping busy using our missing her as motivation to work hard on getting her back in our lives!!

The Crime Report – Home

Criminal Justice…. This is a link to The CrimeReport a news and media site full of unbiased info, news and resources about our “criminal Justice system”

https://www.facebook.com/The-Crime-Report-110343137639/

Sean Joseph Stephan

In the summer of 1992 I went to stay with my uncle. I can’t remember the exact circumstances but I am sure it had to do with one of the routine “nervous breakdowns” my mom would have. They started when I was about 9 years old (or maybe that is when I was old enough to understand what was happening) and they continued in various forms until I was 24. I don’t think I blame my mom but I always like to understand the cause of things and I believe having a parent with a mental illness certainly causes problems for the children they raise.


Statistically, children of the mentally ill have a higher chance of becoming mentally ill themselves. This is due to combination of both nature and nurture; severe mental illness has a strong genetic factor. Add to that the stress and chaos of being raised by a severely mentally ill parent, or the child being passed around to foster parents or group homes, and it creates the perfect storm for developing any number of mood disorders, behavioral problems, and juvenile delinquency, let alone the increased possibility of the onset of a neurological disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. These conditions can lead the child to a life of illness, poverty, crime, and self-destruction.

Marc E. Fitch is the author of “Shmexperts: How Power Politics and Ideology are Disguised as Science,” and several novels. He works as a journalist at The Yankee Institute for Public Policy and lives in Connecticut with his wife, four children and three goats.


At any rate, my uncle lived in a small town and during their homecoming weekend I got pregnant. I specifically recall knowing that I wanted to grow up and go to college because that would be my only way out of a life of perpetual poverty. Point being, my need for love, attention and acceptance outweighed any common sense I had by 15 years of age. I moved back in with my mom and attended pregnant teenager school and worked at “Mr. Donut”. Having my own paycheck was like freedom!! I loved the idea of getting up everyday, going to work and earning my own income.

I’ve told the kids and maybe everyone that when i was 15 weeks along with my first son (and every kid) I heard his heartbeat for the first time and I fell in love right away. i feel like this euphoria we feel is a trick to suck us in to loving the little weasels no matter what!! So of course this worked right away for Sean, big blue eyes and great big dimples!! All the nurses just loved him!! Little did I know that was a sign of what was to come!!

There could be an entire novel just about Sean. It started around 4 weeks old. He would scream non stop and the only thing to quiet him would be putting him in the swing and turn on Care Bears really loud. We tease him about that until this day!!

At 2 years old he started banging his head on the floor when he was mad, I took him to the pediatrician who proceeded to tell me “I’m glad you brought him in so we can get this documented before someone calls DCFS. I was thinking “where have I gone wrong as a parent? Until this day I genuinely ask myself that question. I started getting calls from schools about behaviors in Kindergarten. At this time he was barely sleeping 5 hours a night! He was also displaying violent behaviors toward his brother. The first pediatrician tried him on medication that made his behaviors worse. From that point until Kindergarten we were barely making it!! So at 5 years old he had to be hospitalized because this pediatrician said: if you don’t put him in the hospital to be evaluated then I can’t be held accountable for what he may do next. So we put him in the hospital, put him on a regimen of medicine that seemed to really help him. As he got older though he would lose his temper at school quickly.  It never stopped, clear up to his freshman year in high school when he dropped out.

As they mature, children of teen mothers must still overcome many obstacles. For example, boys born to mothers under the age of 19 are 13 percent more likely to be incarcerated at some point in their lives. Daughters of teen moms are over 20 percent more likely to have their own children at a young age. Children of both sexes have lower standardized test scores and are less likely to earn their high school diplomas.

Statistics on Teen Pregnancy

Vilma Ruddock

Not only did I genuinely feel that I was failing him but as a mother you do have a certain standard you believe, hope, pray and at some point beg that your children will live up to. I knew that I wasn’t going to let one of my kids go down the drain!! By the time Sean made it to high school, in spite of my desperate attempts, he seemed to have lost his way.

Don’t get me wrong, until this day I still desperately try to get and keep him on track. After leaving the traditional high school setting Sean attended a school for kids like him……which just means he attended classes with other boys with the same behavioral issues. This quickly ended in him being suspended for 10 days meaning he couldn’t take driver’s education.

At this point he already was “in love with girls” and girls were “in love with him”.  I specifically remember coming home from work one day and there was a group of 6+ girls walking up the road toward the house and there was Sean smack dab in the middle.

One girl apparently stood out more than the rest: Caitlyn. I immediately talked to the both of them about the importance of protected sex and birth control. I told Caitlyn she had a week to get on birth control or I was taking her. So about 10 days later I took her to planned parenthood and apparently at that time she was already pregnant but we didn’t know. A month later I was on the 2nd half of a double shift (I was only 32) and I received a call from Sean with Caitlyn on the phone as well. I’ll never forget, I’m on the hall, passing meds, standing at my cart, phone up to my ear: “Mom we took 3 different pregnancy tests and they are all positive”. Since I’ve had tons of calls from Sean over the years that seem like emergencies and weren’t I managed to remain calm and tell them “Ok, we will worry about it when I get home”.

After 3 days of being in complete shock to the point that I couldn’t talk to anyone, we embraced the truth and 9 months later came: Skylar Henry Lee Boliard!! AKA: My Little Lover Man!!

Sean is now 25 years old with 2 daughters in addition!

I’d love to tell everyone after years of trouble with the law that Sean has it all together but I can say that for the first time I can remember he has put himself in a healthier situation and so that gives me much encouragement!!

Father’s Day

as-a-father-this-was-the-best-mothers-day-gift-ever-109493.png

It was only recently that I realized how little regard I had for the “father role”. I had no idea who my biological father was until I was 15 and when I met him he said “I couldn’t be sure at the time because of your mom”. So in once fail swoop he let me know that 1: it didn’t matter enough to him to figure it out and 2: because of your mom…….implying what? That my mom was sleeping around? Wow what a good start. At any rate, no real love lost there. During my childhood my mom did marry several times and all though they all had some endearing qualities (I use this term in the loosest possible way) they all were actually the last person you would want your mom to marry.  OK, after saying that I feel kind of bad, 1 1/2 of them were OK. Point being still no one showing me that fathers actually matter. I remember thinking to myself at one point that if/when I had children I would be better off just raising them on my own.

After doing everything ass backwards, getting pregnant very young, married very young, divorced young and then having my girls, and then leaving their dad. I actually found myself in a position in 2013 that would lead me to realize how important and wonderful fathers can be! My girls father and I got back together as our youngest daughter was starting her freshman year of high school. I thought I had made an awful mistake because our daughter aka our Princess aka Alexa and her Dad could not see eye to eye. Alexa gave her Dad a run for his money every time he tried to enforce the rules. She would even tell me I was letting him be mean to her by taking her phone away.

In 2015 my husband had a diving accident (this was kind of self induced but changed our lives forever due to the traumatic brain injury TBI) Austin and Alexa could not see their dad in such a condition but Alexa clearly has come to love her father more than ever!alexaanddad.jpg

So, here we are: 2018. Our 3 children we raised together have all gone off to college, are working while going to school, have their own places etc. I genuinely believe now that God intended on their being 2 parents (or more) involved in a child’s life. Regardless of the family dynamics it is virtually impossible for 1 parent to give a child everything they need. There is no balance.

I just want to say: Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers. If you aren’t in your kids lives please make an effort to do so!

This is my husband and I the day before the accident, We’re pretty sure he got a face lift in surgery! =+)meandrogdaybeforeaccident

Eminem & Bonnaroo 2018

So I have had a longing (we will call it) to see Eminem for nearly 20 years! My older daughter: Soleil who is 20 became a big Eminem fan in 2011 after meeting her best friend Breigh. As much as I would like to deny it I think Breigh qualifies as the biggest fan out of 3 of us and then Soleil and myself. (I’m basing this off the fact that she knows every word to every song…and not like when people say: I know everyone of his songs…..she genuinely knows every word!

At any rate, fast forward to January of this year. Soleil and I were at work together and she was looking up dates to see Eminem. Well our little world was changed forever!! She found it! Bonnaroo 2018 featured artist: Eminem!!!! For those who don’t know about Bonnaroo it is a huge camping/music festival on a farm held every June in Manchester TN 

 

Of course I don’t agree with everything ever said in every Eminem song but I am not one of those people that base my entertainment choices on how the person is otherwise! Having said that I did stop watching Grey’s Anatomy because Shonda Rhimes killed off Dr. McDreamy and I tweeted her to let her know!!

At any rate, the experience was amazing all around. It was primitive camping and our campsite had to be a mile away from “Centaroo” the weather was as hot as possible all day long, so happy the rain stayed away though.

No matter the heat, cost, waiting in lines I would absolutely do it again in a minute. There is certainly something to be said for getting to see your favorite musician/artist! I’ve always loved Eminem’s music, I loved that he was bold enough to say whatever and it meant a lot to me because I could relate to his point of coming from nothing and fighting so hard to get to a better place!

Life as I see it (rambling)

I’ve been a mom for 24 years and a nurse for 12 years. Clearly that makes me an expert on both, right? Sitting here now I realize I can’t give myself such a broad subject because I can’t figure out where to start!

Our youngest turns 18 in 2 weeks, graduation in next weekend. This has made me so very sad/tearful this week. I really don’t know what to do if I am not being a mom/wife/nurse 24-7. It just doesn’t seem that I’ll have enough to keep me busy and if I’ve learned anything from years of counseling I’ve learned there is no better way to avoid resolving a disastrous childhood then to have a very busy life!!

We all know children don’t come with a handbook but I’ll tell you what, I know what things I got right and…….which one’s I got wrong!!  I can also tell you that the older I get the better I get at parenting, I am sure of it!!  To anyone that ever tried to claim that you can be a great parent at a young age hadn’t been a parent at 40+.  Everyday I get better, I become more humble, more wise and all around better parent!!  Although  I raised 4 kids while finishing nursing  school and working 5 doubles a pay period, I do much better work over the last few years, working 40 hours a week and co parenting!! Although the children often ask where the other mom went, they are quick to tell you how great the last few years have gone.

Family Getaway 3

So the trip to Chicago has come and gone! Of course I didn’t blog about it at all like I thought/hoped I would. We did have a wonderful time though and spent plenty of money! In true Sunshine fashion I left myself broke afterward BUT you only live once!

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