I’m a Flipping Genuis….in the shower

First and foremost I would like to point out (for those of you that chose to click on the title and not pass it up) that the title was going to be: I’m a F@cking Genuis….in the shower but because I am blogging under another category for school I felt I should behave myself!!

This post was made possible by: MXD Cocktail Co, Long Island Ice Tea!

Side note: I heard today on HLN that some Mom’s are drinking wine in excess and as much as I like to joke I say this seriously: If drinking wine or any other alchohol has got out of hand, you know it and you should stop, seriously!! Secondly, being a nurse and a mom I try to research everything and especially if I am going to blog about it and I can sincerly say that I don’t fully understand addiction. I can and have drank every night for a year and then not drink for 3 years and then do it all over again, I never considered that an addiction or a relapse but if you participate in drug rehab that is what they say!! I’ve always considered addiction to be something you can’t willingly stop doing without terrible side effects and withdrawls! (2nd & 3rd sidenote: we’re addicted to HLN & we even have our faves but I have to tell you that @LynnSmithTV is not messing around!! Ok, 1 more sidenote, she came back from having her 2nd baby and now she is even more fabulous, I’m like “what? that’s crazy! Go on with your bad self @LynnSmithTV!!) Ok, I lied, one more sidenote: And that’s the simple truth! Again, I was like: go on with your bad self #branding #$$$$

Ok, back to me being a genuis: This is going to serve 2 purposes (well 3 since I rambled on earlier)

1: Sunshine’s LIIT hack, which only qualifies as a hack for people who “save furniture from the side of the road”, Tell their children: I raised you not to fight and then highly consider getting out of the mini van and whooping someone for cutting your baby off while you watch in the rearview mirror!, and have had at least 1 utility shut off already this year!! LMAO

LITT hack: It is like my own little “retreat” to turn on a long, hot shower, drink……pretty much whatever, preferably wine or MXD Long Island Ice Tea, and listen to really awesome music starting with: Aerosmith, Dream On, with: The Southern California Children’s Chorus-Boston Marathon Bobing Tribute

2nd: We will address the “clearly creaive genuis” that occurrs when I am in the shower! I’ve thought about putting a whitboard (a whitboard, seriously!?😋) white board in the shower for years because I always have this time “alone” so to speak wth my thoughts! I can’t decide if I love all this thinking in the shower or if it pisses me off for taking over my LIIT retreat hack……so here we are…….still waiting on the (undocumented and quickly forgotten) creative genuis that occurrs, only in my shower….Like the French Film: To Rome with Love where the guy only sings opera while he is in a shower with running water!

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Addiction Tuesdays “The Opposite of Addiction is Connection”

As I shared in the original post: Addiction Tuesdays, I go to group counseling every Tuesday as well as single/private counseling. The group is called connections and although we have watched videos on connections and had little assignments based on connections AND my (common sense understanding of connections) I still didn’t quite understand the premise behnd Connections.

Although I consider myself an empathetic person (even the strength finders test says so) I still carry the old school mentallity that you can’t fix anything making excuses. Because of this I had a hard time understanding how all this touchy feely connections business would help every addict through recovery. I wanted to prove the old school thought wrong so I looked up the basis for this Connections school of thought and that is when I found out about :

The Rat Park, a study conducted by Bruce K. Alexander, in an edited synopsis original studies in addiction had (I’m going to call them mice because it’s a much cuter name) mice in individual boxes with regular water and drug infused water, the mice continuously chose the drug infused water but once the study was change to include a “Rat Heaven” where the mice could play freely, make babies and raise families they would completely ignore the drug infused water! So in a nutshell, they realized social mice/people need healthy connections!

Here I thought I had come to some fabulous realization about addiction and revovery! I even went to counseling and enthuisiastically regurgatated what I could remember about the “Rat Park”. Ahead of this appt for the first time I answered a list of questions called “The ACE test”: Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Today I started to do a little more research that said: wait a minute, we can’t just base addiction treatment on happy mice! (of course I was devestated because although rationally I knew it sounded to simple, I still wanted to believe it) The updated research went on to say that 60% of Americans have at least 1 adverse childhood experience and 25% have experienced at least 3. People with an ACE score of 5 or higher are up to ten times more likely to experience addiction. Of course my score was 8. Typically I would slide a joke in right here but I’ll behave!

So really this all tells me what I already know

I have to process my childhood trauma to really move forward…..blah blah blah

Addiction Tuesdays

For the last few months I’ve been going to group counseling and then private. I go every Tuesday because “My name is Sunshine and I am a ____________. Just fill in the blank: an addict, a survivor of abuse, a person with a mental illness, a product of my shit childhood……you get the point! So, although I’ve been going to counseling on and off since I was 9, I affectionately refer to my most recent “stint”in counseling as “Addiction Tuesdays”!

I have no idea where I was at when everyone else got the memo on exactly how to “find themselves”. I feel like the majority of people born in December of 1976 may have got like a cheat sheet to life!

Anyway, I think someone sent it snail mail so you know, it just showed up 20 years late. #USPS for those of you too young to know, that stands for: United States Postal Service…..Ok, I am done with amateur comedian hour!

So, my real point of turmoil is that I keep evaluating EVERY SINGLE THING I SAY AND DO! Like ALL day, EVERY day, I keep bending Roger’s ear (he seriously is a great listener ^^especially for a man^^)

Randomly I will be like: I just figured out today the reason why I drive you crazy is because my mom wasn’t a good mom…..Okay, that isn’t what I say. I’m sure it was something similar though. It is clear though, to me and my husband that I have this insatiable desire to learn what it takes to be “normal” At first this meant the little house with the white picket fence, now it means finding peace. Due to my childhood it has taken a long time to realize that I deserve it. I am hoping that someone will read this and save themselves the 20 years it took me to realize that I am deserving of peace!

Blah Blah Blah

So it hasn’t been the best week. I mean
I’ve been sooo tired once again! Since deciding that I have anxiety which I’ve always thought of as stress they decided “hey lets put her on a new med so she can feel like shit for 4-6 MORE weeks in a hopes that we are right and the medicine WILL work!  I keep hoping the day will come and they will say: “she has chronic fatigue and we will give her a magical pill (since there is one for everything) and she will have all the energy in the world! So I am convinced this may partially be the brain of an addict but we have all this being prescribed for various reasons but I’m confused on who decides which ones are controlled due to their ability to alter your state of mind? Don’t they all alter your state of mind? The point of pain medication is to tell your brain your not in pain, antidepressant to tell you that you aren’t depressed, anti-anxiety to tell your mind you aren’t anxious? While I’m on the topic, isn’t that the reason weed isn’t legal everywhere? Because it has the ability to alter your state of mind? Top 10 prescribed medications:
  • Vicodin, Norco, Xodol (hydrocodoneacetaminophen) Drug class: Opioid/acetaminophen combinations. …
  • SynthroidLevoxylUnithroid (levothyroxine) Drug class: Thyroxines. …
  • Delasone, Sterapred (prednisone) …
  • Amoxil (amoxicillin) …
  • Neurontin (gabapentin) …
  • PrinivilZestril (lisinopril) …
  • Lipitor (atorvastatin) …
  • Glucophage (metformin)
Top reasons for prescribing marijuana:
  • Cancer.
  • Glaucoma.
  • HIV/AIDS.
  • Hepatitis C.
  • Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
  • Crohn’s disease.
  • Alzheimer’s disease.
  • A chronic or debilitating condition or its treatment that produces one or more of the following: Cachexia (wasting syndrome)
Medical cannabis
  Top 10 reasons people smoke weed: 1. Marijuana as medicine. 2. For the effect of THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), the main active chemical in marijuana. 3. To relieve the stress, anxiety, fear, pain or anger related to personal, psychological or family issues. 4. Popular culture endorses marijuana use. 5. Low perception of harm. 6. The opportunity to try marijuana presents itself. 7. Peer, family or role model influence. 8. People use marijuana because they were born with or develop certain personality dimensions, such as unconventionality, which make marijuana use non-taboo. 9. Curiosity. 10. To relax.
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